A few days back, I was talking to a friend of mine, whose children are Out of Singapore for studying. She confided in me about her feelings of loneliness, worry and leaping depression, because of that. I felt scared. I felt scared at the thought of my children leaving me for exploring the educational avenues, away from me. I felt scared that I might feel lonely, worrisome, and depressed in future. I didn’t talk to my princess, thinking she might have to go away from me in future when she is all of 13-year-old as of now.

This incident happened with me last week and I felt emotionally weak. My husband realized my situation, took me out for drive and explained me how I have missed the entire day, without spending good quality time with my kids, in anticipation of time which will take another 6-7 years to come.

I am sure most of us are guilty of this emotion at some point in our lives, when we forget to live in the moment, when we forget to enjoy our vacations by just clicking pics to put in social media, when we forget to love our spouse now , taking him or her for granted, when we forget to enjoy our work and just take the pressure having to work. We have heard the expression “live in the moment” so many times that the words can lose their meaning.

To live in the moment, or now , means being conscious, aware and in the present with all of your senses. It means not dwelling on the past, nor being anxious or worrying about the future.  Quite often we put huge expectations on ourselves and our lives. We rush to do this, hurry up with that, without actually enjoying the process.  What is the rush? Where do we think we are going? If we do not stop and think about where we are at, we’re probably missing the point. Instead, when we appreciate each moment and garner the lessons from it, we live consciously, purposefully, and responsibly.

Of course, this does not mean we don’t need to plan, set goals or prepare for the future. We can do all of these things and still enjoy each moment as it unfolds. living in the moment is filled with a wide array of emotions including pain. However, living in the moment does ensure a livelier existence. We can’t experience the past or the future, yet we spend much of our time lost in regretting the past and worrying about the future. Still, the present moment is all we have.

Think of what we are missing when we trail off and focus on things we are not actually experiencing. Think of how to celebrate small joys. Think of how to listen without responding. Think of how to be okay not knowing everything, feel your feelings and finally, think of how to balance between flowing and planning. As you live your life, remind yourself: Slow down and pay attention. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Focus less on evaluation and more on your actual experience.

Look out the window of your car. Be in the moment. “Pay attention in the present like your life depends on it.” And if you do get lost, never beat yourself up; just bring your attention back to the present moment. You can actually strengthen your mind like a muscle by putting your attention where you want it.  Life is too precious to waste lost in our heads, and evaluating ourselves, we can live more fully by paying attention to our senses and being willing to feel what we are actually experiencing at any given moment. So, relax, breathe, let go and live in the moment.